My personal experience of illness so far

I realise that I'm a sample of one so I'm going to give you my experience so far from my first real experience of being ill (other than the occasional cough or cold.) Mostly for me so far it's been one of intense boredom interspersed with moments of panic, sadness, and occasional contentment.

When I was acutely ill in the hospital, time passed quite quickly and there was a lot going on and a lot to process. The days were broken up with periodic visits by the nurses to administer medication or to assess vital signs, as well as awaiting tests, results, and visits from the doctors or any other healthcare professional that may have been requested to see me. Also, for me, as I had been feeling so unwell for quite some time and had deteriorated rapidly just prior to my admission, there was such a sense of relief once the intense physical pain was taken away, that I was almost euphoric.

Once I was discharged, my family arrived from various locations and I was surrounded by love and support. My parents live in Galway and as does my adult son so they arrived together, followed by my sister who traveled down from Dublin. My adult daughter was already at home as she was on midterm break from her university course in Paris. It was crowded and more than a little chaotic, but it was a mini family reunion so my mood was upbeat.

Of course, then they left - my sister to return to Dublin and my parents to fly to New York and then Los Angeles on their annual trip to visit my fathers' side of the family in NY, and my brother and his family in LA. There was the initial relief of having some private space after the hospital admission and those daily small victories of needed less pain medication, or being able to walk for longer or at a faster pace. And then the physical plateau began where it occurred to me that this might be as good as it gets. As difficult as this alone is to process, negative thoughts began to creep in about what further diagnoses might be waiting down the road. Time began to pass in increasingly small increments with nothing to distract me. The day I was expecting the results of the CT, I walked seven miles just to make time pass a little more quickly.

Part of the problem may be that I have told very few people the full story of what is going on. My friends here in this adopted town of mine know about the PE, but they have busy lives with a lot going on at the moment. Additionally, as I met my local friends through running it's not as if I could just mention it in passing on a Sunday morning 8 miler. One friend here knows what is going on, another who has recently moved to Galway I confided in also, as well as a long-time friend and work colleague who I dissected the CT images with before the official radiologist report came back. Actually now it sounds like I've told loads of people! I'm aware this is on the internet, so very public, but google tells me nobody reads it so while documenting this here is therapeutic for me, it's not like a support network with feedback and input from others in similar situations.

I suppose, as I'm very family focussed, it feels like I haven't told anyone, as none of my family know except my partner and my sister. As my parents and daughter are overseas at the moment, I don't want them to panic for something that could be nothing. In the case of my daughter - this Erasmus year has been great for her so far and really brought her out of her shell so I'm reluctant to cast a shadow over that for her. And obviously, I can't tell anyone else until my parents and children know so I had to lie about my CT results to my parents and all of my extended family over and over again.

So for some good news after all that heavy stuff. I don't have to take these lads twice a day now.

I'm on the 20mg once a day instead which is far more manageable. As they have to be taken with food it was a bit of a logistical nightmare trying to make sure you were having two substantial meals 12 hours apart. Like what if you are hungry for your dinner at 5pm? (totally possible if you are not working and hanging around the house all day!)

Also, as of Thursday, I'm back to work. I basically begged my GP for a fitness to return to work cert in exchange for working exclusively from home for the next month. It turns out I'm not suited to waiting around for things to happen so I may as well fill my day with work that I enjoy. While it looked like this saga was going to be an isolated incident with a gradual return to full health, that seems unclear just now so in the meantime I'll keep myself busy the way that comforts me, by working my socks off!

Dancing around the C word

My healthcare experience means that I could hardly avoid the thought, from the very beginning of this process, that cancer was a possibility.  I may have mentioned it in a blase way to friends and family but it was very much at the front of my mind and directed where my energy went in pushing for the tests I believed to be of the highest priority. No simple task I'm afraid, and to those with no healthcare experience, you have my greatest sympathy in getting this done alone!  My GP called this afternoon with the results of my CT abdomen/pelvis and the news that there will most probably be a biopsy in my near future. There appear to be some simple cysts in my spleen, kidney, and ovary that she didn't seem worried about, however, there is a 2.3cm mass below my right lung on the lining inside of the chest wall (pleura.) The reporting radiologist commented that it doesn't have the appearance of infection so I guess we wait and see. I'm waiting for an urgent appointment to see the respiratory team that I was under during my admission and will see what happens.
I genuinely thought I was ready to hear that this might be a possibility, but I shook for about an hour after the phone call. Anyway, hopefully, this is all much ado about nothing!

Recovery: Two weeks post discharge

I'm learning that a week can be a long time in recovery from a major health event. In my case anyway, this week has felt much more normal in that I've had a lot more energy and so have done more. I'm still sleeping quite a lot and feel that I need at least 8-9 hours per night at the moment, whereas I would have been fine with 6.5-7.5 previously. My days have been quite full, with a mixture of walking, self-enforced tasks around the house, and chasing up my outstanding medical tests. I finally had my CT abdomen/pelvis on Thursday morning (after three phone calls and a little cry on the phone to one of the admin staff) and will hopefully have the results of that on Monday. 

From a physical point of view, I'm relatively pain-free at rest at the moment unless I'm lying flat on my back, and have not had to take any painkillers for chest pain this week, but some for a persistent headache early in the week. In TMI news, I'm on day thirteen of my period at the moment so that is super fun - my poor underwear drawer doesn't know what hit it. A set of sheets has already ended up in the bin so this could get expensive if it happens every month. Oh well....blood thinner life! I will try to self-soothe by buying nice new undies and I have already replaced the sheets.

Walking is feeling easier and I have been able to up the pace a bit without too much chest pain. Inclines are certainly easier. I'm trying to walk 4-6 miles per day depending on what else I'm up to and I may try to up that next week to 5-7, although this may be weather dependent as it's beautiful walking weather at the moment. I'm telling myself that I'm waiting for a clear CT before attempting a run but, to be honest, I don't feel any urgency to run yet as I'm not sure I'm physically ready. Also, I'm scared, so there is that!  

PE recovery: 1st exercise target achieved!

It is with great pleasure that I can report that I managed to walk all four miles today. Woohoo! Whilst there is a tiny amount of mixed feelings about how mundane that target is for someone with my fitness history, I'm trying to put that to the back of my mind. I felt relatively well throughout with only some mild chest pain on inclines, and that stopped as soon as I took the effort back down to what it was on the flat. Another milestone was that I had energy when I got back. I called into the shop, tidied up a bit, and put together some lunch. A few days ago a three-mile walk was wiping me out and I would have had to go and lie down after. Progress!! 

I also feel I got a teeny tiny bit of colour back in my cheeks today, after being deathly pale up until now. See there under my left eye there is a little bit of pink? No?

Recovery one week post discharge

I seem to on a bit of a recovery plateau at the moment, but it is early days I suppose. My chest pain at rest and on exercise has neither improved or disimproved, but I have tapered off any pain medication drastically. Today I took 500mg of paracetamol but that was it. For a couple of reasons, I have the urge not to dull the remainder of the chest pain. I find it reassuring to note that it's still in the same places and that there is nothing new, and when I do try to exert myself a little, being aware of the pain forces me to back off a bit. I failed to achieve the four-mile walk target I set myself but that is mostly due to appalling weather yesterday combined with a trip to the airport with my parents and a GP visit.
My GP was fabulous and ordered the tests that I should probably have had as an inpatient, and also checked my moles. It was due to her that today I finally had a duplex venous scan of my lower limb to rule that out as the source of my clot. Negative, as expected with my lack of leg pain and swelling but at least that is one more thing off the list. I would have felt silly paying for a CT abdo/pelvis to then find out that I had a leg DVT that caused the whole thing. She has also ordered a routine cardiology consult due to an ongoing exercise-related tachycardia issue that it most probably unrelated. And, I also booked an appointment with a dentist for a check-up and oral cancer screen (to my shame, my first dental appointment since I moved here!)
In exercise news, I walked 2-3 miles today. I'm not sure of the exact total as I didn't do a route I'm familiar with and wearing my Fitbit at the moment would be too depressing - it kept buzzing at me in the hospital as I was basically sedentary for three days and that is very unusual for me. Tomorrow, to my knowledge I have no GP, hospital visits, etc (fingers crossed!) so I really hope to hit that four file target, even if it's in two chunks.

Recovery 1 week post diagnosis

It has now been a week since my diagnosis with bilateral pulmonary embolism and I've started to feel more normal. So naturally, I'm starting to think about running. Or rather not thinking about actually running, but thinking about whether I should be thinking about running. There doesn't seem to be a lot of guidance about when to resume normal activity but a lot of "listen to your body" type talk. Much as I'd like to think that I'm good at listening to my body please consider the evidence:

Exhibit A
I had chest pain, dizziness, and nausea two miles into a gentle jog the day my symptoms started that forced me to sit down on the edge of the path. I had run to the end of a dock from my car and then back past it in the opposite direction so I was now less than a mile from my car. Did I listen to my body and walk back, or did I decide to continue on to make it up to six miles? Guess! 

Exhibit B
When chest pain and shortness of breath woke me the following night I went to the local doctor-on-call service and explained my symptoms. When I was prescribed antibiotics and steroids for an infection I knew I didn't have, I still didn't listen to my body and go across the road to the ED and instead sat in traffic on the M50 for 1.5hrs each way and walked around a factory all day most probably with multiple blood clots in my lungs. 

Exhibit C
It took five more days of chest pain before I finally went to the ED and even then I felt like I was making it up and wasting someone's time. This is at the exact same time as knowing deep down that something was terribly wrong!  

All of the above I submit as evidence that although I once considered myself really good at listening to my body, this is no longer the case. So how then, do I begin to reclaim my fitness without overdoing it?

Two days ago I walked three miles slowly with my daughter. I felt fine during and after it, but then had a terrible night and was convinced I had a new clot.
Yesterday I did nothing, partially to do with having two visitors and partially to do with the fact that it rained cats and dogs all day.
Today I again walked three miles with my daughter. This time I took a break at the halfway point to catch my breath and really pulled back on the uphill when I started to feel some chest discomfort. Is this listening to my body? When does that turn into weakness?
As far as running is concerned, I don't think I will try until the chest pain at rest has resolved and until I get a CT scan of my pelvis and abdomen as I want to know that there isn't anything else lurking in there before I shake everything around too much.
Tomorrow? Four miles walking maybe?

VTE, PE, DVT and treatment myths

*Disclaimer: All subjects discussed are from the perspective of my own experience as a healthcare professional, and now as a patient. These are my individual experiences and opinions and not intended as medical advice.

So what is pulmonary embolism (PE)? 
A PE occurs when a blood clot or embolism breaks off from somewhere within the veins, travels through one side of the heart, and lodges in the blood vessels of the lungs. These clots can be small and block off a small area of the blood supply, or large and/or numerous, shutting down much of the blood flow. This is a problem as we humans need oxygen to reach every tissue in our bodies in order to survive!
PE is usually as a result of a deep venous thrombosis (DVT) forming somewhere in the veins, usually the legs, but possibly the arms, or somewhere within the abdomen or pelvis. As the flow in the veins is in general from the outermost tips back towards the heart, then a clot breaking off will travel through the right chambers of the heart and into the network of vessels in the lungs where they lodge. The combined disease encompassing PE and DVT is called venous thromboembolism (VTE)

What causes VTE
There are known risk factors for VTE including surgery, trauma, immobilisation, cancer, pregnancy, long-haul flights as well as a genetic predisposition to clotting. The hormone oestrogen can also play a part in some embolic events and hormonal contraceptives or hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can be implicated if no other cause can be found - of note: pregnancy has a far higher risk for VTE than either hormonal contraceptives or HRT.

Current treatment
The current best practice is immediate anticoagulation (blood thinners) in order to prevent further clotting, to maximise flow around the clot and to allow the body to reabsorb the clot over a period of months and years. There are more invasive treatments available to directly dissolve and remove the clot using medication delivered over a catheter, however, this is not generally the first line of treatment and is still largely experimental.

Treatment myths
Unfortunately, during my admission, I was informed by junior doctors on several occasions that the treatment would dissolve my PE. At this point, I was receiving low molecular weight heparin. I am now on a direct oral anticoagulant (DOAC.) While both are effective at preventing more clots, they do not dissolve any but the smallest clots, and this is not a claim made by the drug companies (and believe me they would if they could!)
Clot, whether it is in the legs or the lungs is reabsorbed over time (or not) by the body. Sometimes it resolves fully, other times the body creates channels through the clot preserving some or all function if not form, and yet other times the clot becomes hard and impervious, stable but visible decades later.
By the way, none of the above is a criticism of junior doctors. I don't think they came about their incorrect information off their own bat. They are either not being informed or being given incorrect information.

My healthcare experience
I spent seventeen years in healthcare, working predominantly in imaging of the veins and arteries. Part of my job was imaging DVT, both for initial diagnosis, and then to monitor progress during treatment. This was where it frequently became obvious that patients were being told that their treatment was going to, or already had, dissolved their clot. How shocked they then were when there was still obvious clot in their veins, as expected when they returned for a follow-up scan. So are doctors genuinely unaware of the efficacy of the treatments they are administering or do they think patients just don't want to know?

Running after a pulmonary embolism (PE)

It seems to be a trend in this little blog of mine that I abandon writing here until there is so much to document that I don't know where to start! The most important piece of information, for now, is that five days ago I was diagnosed with unprovoked bilateral pulmonary embolism. This was shocking, as it would be for anyone, but as an active person, one of my first instincts was to find out how this was going to affect my running and how others had coped with it. To be honest there is not a lot of information out there and I thought it might be useful, even just for my future self, to document my progress through the acute phase of this disease and my eventual return to wellness or fitness in whatever form that takes.

Running recap since late 2015

In terms of marathons, there has not been a lot going on since 2015. Or rather there has been a lot of trying but not a whole lot of success.

In Autumn 2016 I trained for the Dublin Marathon with a goal of running under 3:30. Training went really well until about five weeks out when I got sick with an ear infection. Rest didn't work and neither did two courses of antibiotics the last of which finished I finished two days before marathon day. I got to mile 10 and ended up dropping out at that point. My very first marathon DNF! My relaxed attitude to dropping out was probably helped by knowing that I would be starting to train for the Boston Marathon 2017 mere weeks later in early December. That
would surely go more smoothly  right?

December passed easily enough with training feeling good. I had started to build my mileage nicely by Christmas.
On the first of January, I decided to test my fitness and run a 10k. So far so predictable.
The race itself passed off uneventfully. I ran it in 46 minutes while chatting comfortably for most of the race. I had wanted to work but not kill myself and was really happy with how well I felt crossing the line. On the cooldown, everything changed.
Suddenly, I started to feel pain in the sole of my right foot, just in front of the heel. It wasn't too bad though so I put it out of my mind.
The following morning the foot felt a bit tender but not too bad, so I stupidly decided that it would be fine to go and run eight miles with the club on grass. I managed two miles before I had to walk back to the car. That was the last time I ran for four weeks.

My plantar fascia was in a mess. Weeks of contrast baths, electric shock treatment, massage, stretching, gliding on the cross trainer, and strength training later I was allowed to run one mile. It was now February and the Boston Marathon was in early April.
I built up my mileage slowly, but never managed more than three to four days of running per week without the foot flaring up. Most of my speed work was done on the cross trainer, partially to spare the foot and partially out of boredom. My long runs happened on the Curragh planes in four or six-mile loops so that I could stay on the grass.

Sleepy now...to be continued tomorrow if i have the energy

Everyday things i'm discovering I need for sanity

Spotify
To play songs in my car that I love but have forgotten about. Also to play new songs similar to them but just slightly different. This is equal parts a need for music, and distaste for anxiety-making news.

Exercise
My drug of choice is running. I feel like my brain without running is made of something like Velcro and grasps onto and gathers all around it, attaching to the useful and useless all the same and sending my thoughts spinning round and round. After a run, my brain feels like it's coated in Teflon. All those ideas and worries are still there, they haven't gone away, but it's like my non-stick brain won't let them attach themselves and worm their way in.
If injured or too cracked to run, walking for a long time with a good podcast will work.

Terrible coffee creamer
I have to confess that a tablespoon of, bad for you, non-dairy, non-food probably, french vanilla coffee creamer (probably not french vanilla, let's be fair) in my bog standard work coffee makes me very content.

A prolonged pause

Are you there Blog? It's me, Lisa. I have just read back through my last few posts from 2015 and it really does feel a lifetime ago since I wrote here, and at the same time only just out of reach - much like my fitness and mental health!

I have decided to get back to writing this little log as I miss the act of writing for its' own sake, and I'm far too disorganised to start an actual journal. I want to come here to document my journey back to wellness. In many ways, this has already begun; the return to health, to job satisfaction, and to personal fulfillment. One baby step at a time. Not asking for much am I?

The last few years have certainly not been all bad, on the contrary, there has been so much to be grateful for. So very much of everything that my poor old battered brain went into overload like the robot on Lost in Space (the old one) and forgot how to chill the eff out.

Things to be grateful for:

• I am in good physical health, a bit anaemic, but who isn't?
• I have two kids in college doing things they enjoy.
• My partner is funny, kind, gentle, loyal and loving. Also handsome. 
• I have good friends, close-by who are busy but supportive. 
• The above-mentioned college education is not bankrupting me as yet.
• I have no major consumer debt. 
• My job is ok.
• I'm not that out of shape. 

This is a lot! I am so very lucky....but of course, I would like to be able to upgrade this slightly, just not at the expense of losing any of the above. How about all of the above but not anaemic and in good running shape? It's a deal! 

Strength training continued...

So despite the major DOMS after last week's session I again ventured to the Thursday night strength and conditioning class at industrial fitness. It was so good and I'm so much less sore than last week. I even managed to put weight on the bar for my strict press (a grand total of 2.5kg....super woman I am not!)

So what is the idea behind trying to get into a regular strength training routine and why have I chosen the class I have?

There are two fairly well researched reasons in the literature for doing strength training as a runner. Firstly, lifting heavy strengthens the hips and hip stability is huge for injury prevention. Secondly, lifting heavy helps to create more power with each stride. A more powerful stride with the same aerobic fitness brings an increase in speed. Either one of those benefits on their own are enough for me to want to try to make this a regular part of my training.
Of course I still have to do all of my other running sessions trying to bring my turnover back up after marathon training but it's going to be interesting to see if it helps.

SSE Dublin Marathon 2015 - spectator race recap

Bank holiday Monday was my first time spectating the Dublin Marathon and I must admit it was a much more physically exhausting task than I expected!
The SO and a handful of other guys from the club were running so I had plenty to cheer for and although I promised to be there at mile 5, 20 and near the end I thought for some reason I was going to have a lovely relaxing day. I even left the house uncaffeinated as I was sure if mostly be sipping cappuccinos to stay warm. Ummm....not quite!!

As anyone with eyes may have noticed Monday morning was really windy with some misty rain. I was so worried for the SO (J) as a pb attempt didn't seem to on the cards on a day like this on a course as exposed as Dublin. Anyway, I tried to be upbeat on the drive in and the excited crowds on the Luas from Stillorgan were at least a distraction. Before I knew it I was saying goodbye to J and wandering towards the Abbey street to get the Luas......except the Luas wasn't running on this section. Eek!
At this point I realised I'd have to run 6 minute miles to beat J to mile 5 so I was going to have to adjust plans. I set off as fast as my legs would carry me towards the chapelizod gate as I knew the course comes out of the gate there at about 10 miles. A few miles later I arrived at the gates just as the lead runners had gone through....phew!!! I got my breath back and got busy cheering. Not that long later J came through looking like he was working hard but he didn't see me. I stuck around and waited for the rest of the club runners to come through, most looking comfortable and relaxed and giving me a wave or smile.
After this it was an uphill slog on closed roads back up to Heuston for a taxi to Milltown. This part was much easier logistically as the taxi was able to bring me right to the bottom of Milltown road and it was a short walk to the top of the hill....an ideal vantage point to see approaching runners. I was getting nervous now about J and how he was getting on after seeing him work hard at 10 miles. I started to chat to a pleasant guy on the hill as we watched and clapped for the runners passing by. Then in the distance I picked out a familiar running style and there was J coming towards me,  running strong up the hill with a big smile on his face! I jumped in with him for a few yards as he came by and passed him a small bottle of coke and just told him he looked strong. He was totally with it and I knew then that the wheels were staying on today!
The rest of the Newbridge ac crew followed in fairly quick succession and I decided to run to the finish from there...taking a cross street to Ballsbridge that got me to mile 25 in very short order. I found a little spot for myself between the 800 and 400 signs and settled it to watch. This was one of the most inspiring parts of the experience for me. Seeing people coming towards the finish in all sorts of conditions....some with a smile. Others with a grimace or stopping to stretch a last minute cramp. The waves of cheers for everyone was overwhelming and I was moved to tears on several occasions, most notably when J passed by with 2:52 on the clock and I knew he was going to be well under 3 hours. I was sooooo proud and so happy for him. His finish time was 2:54...a 5 minute pb!

I waited near the finish for another half an hour watching more and more finishers pass by and then made my way over to meet J and shuffle him over to Sinnotts for a drink and something to eat. Stairs may not have made it the best choice but the proximity to the Luas for his rapidly tightening leg muscles was great!

No pain no gain?

Part of what I've promised myself for the next few months is that I'll get into a regular strength training routine. I've tried to do this before but it's always the first thing to go once I get busy and the miles start building up (or truth be told, when I'm broke!) 

The plan for now is to try to make it to one strength and conditioning class per week at Industrial Fitness Newbridge and then do a second session at home if possible.

I love the Thursday night class at Industrial Fitness and always feel like a total badass after. This is completely unjustified as I can only do about half of the moves but feck it.....I try! It's a big warehouse kind of set-up and the class structure is a short warm up followed by about twenty minutes doing two different types of lifts - low amount of reps with heavy weights and then a conditioning session of about fifteen minutes of circuits of some sort. 

The instructors Pa and Morgan are great. They know their stuff and give loads of encouragement and everyone is friendly. Last Thursday night was my first night back since the big miles kicked in a few months back and it was.....interesting! I'm as weak as a kitten and seem to have forgotten how to do burpees (sad face) but I appear to still be able to squat so that's one good thing to take from it. 

The day after I was in a serious amount of pain so that was fun! What I would like to do is get some weights here at home so I can do a second session on a Monday after my tempo run and then I won't be in so much pain after the Thursday night class. This is all very well in theory but we will see if I follow through on it. 

What to do?

It's just over two weeks after the marathon and I'm back running fairly regularly. Recovery went well except for my ganky toe which is only getting back to itself now. I do have before and after pics but I don't think they need to be recorded on here! 

I did my first faster run since getting back into training last night. It was a five mile tempo with L and O from the club plus a group of guys but it was only a hard effort for us girls.....the rest of them were not even breathing hard. We finished with an average of about 7:30 pace which I was happy about for a comeback run but is miles off where I was speedwise in the spring. Also I was banjaxed by mile 4 while the other two girls were grand. Oh well! Time to get back to the track and do some speedwork! 

So what is on the cards for the future with races? Well there is only one definite so far and that is Kildare Senior Cross Country. The club are hosting it this year and our strongest female is 'with child' so we need all hands on deck for that one. That's not until the end of November though so I need to do something before then or I'll be totally gun shy!

I'm toying with the idea of a flat, fast looking 5k in early November as I really think I can get under 21 mins on the right day so that's a maybe. And then there is a half marathon in portarlington in mid November. I haven't done a half since 2014 so I feel like I'd have to have a disaster not to pb (famous last words?)

Other than that I have no big plans for 2016. I need to get a bit of a mental break before I can decide if I want to do a marathon next year or not. I'll admit that the thought of taking a few more minutes off the pb is appealing but I don't think jumping straight back into training for a marathon is going to get me there. What seems to have worked for me is building a good base over the winter, getting faster over shorter distances in the spring and then marathon training over the long days of summer if I feel like it by then. I might stick to that for 2016 and see how it serves me. Or I reserve the right to change my mind at any point!

Race recap - Run Galway Bay Marathon

In 2011 I ran my first ever race. The Athenry Fit4Life 5k in just under 36 minutes. On Saturday I ran my third marathon in 3 hours and 33 minutes. It wasn't my A goal but I can't be disappointed in a 21 minute PB!

So the details....
The lead-up to race day went fairly smoothly. Had a bit of a sniffle the week before but due to judicious use of hot whiskeys, vitamin C and lemsip it never really developed into a proper cold. I slept poorly the night before but then who gets a full night sleep before a marathon?
Saturday morning was cool and perfectly calm - great race conditions! Myself and the SO got up around 6......it was great to not have to get up at stupid o'clock for this race! We were out the door for 7:15 and parked at the Cathedral car park for 8am. Five minutes later we were at the race start area so we were there in loads of time. Plenty of portaloos for the small numbers meant no queueing...yay!
There was some mild panic just after we arrived when there was an announcement that the marathon was about to start.......I was still in my long tights and a few layers...WTF!!! Anyway it turns out that was for those aiming to finish over 4:30 so they could take advantage of the road closure.

The main event
About 5 minutes before the start we all moved over to the start area and the pacers arrived. There were two 3:30 pacers and it was easy to line up right behind them. Again the small numbers a major advantage here! We started off bang on time and headed off on our first two small laps before our 4 big laps out through Salthill and back. The first mile was right on pace.....just under 8min/miles. I did notice that when we hit the first marker (this was for 1.1 miles) that my watch said 1.13 but didn't take much notice at the time. In retrospect this was a mistake!!!

The next 12 miles or so went by very uneventfully. I took my gels on schedule and the pace felt easy. Each mile split on my watch was just under the pace so around about 7:55min/miles. As there weren't markers for each mile I wasn't aware of any discrepancy at this point....I was just chugging along happily with the pacers, chatting occasionally with the group. I saw the SO all over the place.....he kept popping up offering gels or water.

At 13.1 miles on my watch I noticed how far away we still were from the 13.1 mile sign. Oh dear! I think the pacers realised about this time too as all of a sudden the pacers I had been almost clipping the heels of set off like bats out of hell. I though for a while I had just hit some kind of wall as I felt like I was going backwards but I looked at my watch at the time and it was steadily in the 7:40s - looking back on the mile splits, the next 3 miles were way too fast and this and losing the pacers put me a dark place. It was the third lap and all that kept going through my mind was "I can't believe I have to do this bulls*** again after this!"

The next time we came through the start area was at the 20 mile mark and I had stopped looking at the watch at this stage. This is where I saw the parents so I made an attempt to not look too much like I was dying. Shortly after that I passed the SO again. He was carrying my backpack with all my clothes, money, phone, keys etc and was wearing about three layers but I told him I wanted him to run with me and he did. We had talked about this in advance so he was ready to jump in for that last lap if necessary. It did run through my mind to tell him my parents were close and to drop the bag with them but saying all those words seemed like a lot of energy so I didn't. I feel pretty bad about that now! On the other hand if he was trying to prove himself then 6 miles with multiple layers and a pink backpack will do it every time.

The next few miles were off the pace but I really didn't care at this stage. None of the miles were slower than 8:30 pace and that was as all I had at the time. These last few miles were quite congested with the faster half marathon crew coming through and lots of walkers on their first lap. I found this quite difficult as there was limited room on the course and the last thing I wanted to be thinking about was how I was going to get past a line of people or a dog walker! The last mile in particular was so hard. I know I was in pain but the amount of times I had to step off the path to get past people was ridiculous and in the last 100 meters I had to stop and ask people in a big group on their first lap to please allow me to get past. I gave up and ran through grass in the end to reach the finish area. So annoying!
What wasn't annoying was crossing that finish line with 3:33 on the clock. I hadn't been looking at my watch since about 18 miles so I hadn't a clue what my time was. I thought I had lost way more time! I was and still am ecstatic about my time!

My thoughts on the race
This was the first year a full marathon was available along with the more established 10k and half marathon. Numbers were kept to 200 and to be honest in the format the race is right now I don't think they could have had many more. The course was simply too congested in the second half once the half marathon started and can have only gotten worse as the majority of the field were still out on the course.

All of the volunteers and marshals that I came across were fantastic but there just weren't enough of them. More people along the course making sure there was a relatively clear path for runners would have made a lot of difference. I know in Limerick they have the three events together and I don't remember there being as much of a problem but then that's a much larger course so not the same space issues. Also good luck with stopping Galway people from walking their dog or cycling along the prom while a race is going on........not going to happen!

So was the course long? I don't know and it doesn't really matter. Whether it was or not my watch says we rock steady on the pace until about half way and then something happened so the next few miles were super fast so something was up and it wasn't just me. More and clearer signs would have allowed us all to be more aware of any difference sooner and made the later miles less painful!

The race T-shirt is excellent. It is properly sized, technical fabric and ladies fit so it will get loads of wear. The medal is grand. I don't really care about medals so I'm not the one to ask about this! There was pasta, crackers, biscuits etc available after the race which was good.........I bypassed this though and went to the Salthouse for two pints of Erdinger and a bag of crisps followed by pizza from Monroes for the car home :)

The taper crazy

The countdown is on. It's less than a week until the big day and most of the actual training bit is over. A few short sessions left but nothing I would have considered worth wasting a clothes change on a few weeks ago. Perspective!

It's great to get a bit more free time but to be honest I think I might be losing the plot a bit! Up to this point I didn't have enough leftover energy to get too worked up about anything. Unless I was hungry if course.
In the last few days as I've freshened up I've found myself with renewed energy. Energy for housework, shopping and side errands I had been putting off. Energy for the odd bit of core work. And for better or worse energy for being a big grenade of emotion just waiting to go off. God help my friends, family and soon to be sainted SO...
I've managed to keep the unprompted and unprovoked fits of crying mostly to long stretches of motorway driving but if anyone spots me at a set of traffic lights crying like my heart is breaking...don't worry. I just have too much time and energy on my hands so it had to come out somehow.

Physically the legs are getting some bounce back. Parkrun quite close to my previous pb pace on Saturday felt fairly manageable. Sunday's final chunk of marathon pace miles felt effortless and I'll admit I wished the race was yesterday as I felt strong and ready. I just want to turn up next Saturday feeling as ready as I did after 8 yesterday and I'll be happy.

Life would be boring if I was consistent at everything!

So what can I say? I'm not very good at updating this which is a shame. When I look back at earlier posts it's great to be able to see progress, or on the flip-side it's useful to be able to reflect on a time when things seemed to be going badly as a reminder that things change.

I've managed to fail to document an entire marathon training cycle which is impressive! Taper started yesterday and I'm still in one piece (touch wood) and feeling strong. I'm registered for the first running of the Galway Bay Marathon (previously a half and 10k) on Saturday October 3rd.

Image borrowed with thanks from the event FB page

Should I talk about targets? I'm not particularly superstitious so I'm happy to document my A,B,C and D goals.

• D - Finish!
• C - Small PB (3:45-3:54)
• B - Large PB (3:30-3:45)
• A - Sub 3:30

Key sessions are pointing to being ready for my A goal. Goal marathon pace is 8:01 and I've been there or under for my marathon pace tempo runs. Can I do it for 26.2? Not a clue but I'll give it a go!

Race recap - VHI Womens Mini Marathon

So anyone in the island of Ireland knows that yesterday's weather was a wee bit on the wet and windy side. This made waiting around for this race to start a little bit miserable. Added to this the fact that there was little to no room to warm up in the start area and I was not having the good feels!!

Luckily I met up with L from the club and we had a good old chat to help the time pass.We also arranged a meeting spot for a celebratory drink after....priorities!

We were let off at two on the dot and although I was only about 20 feet from the front I had to start weaving immediately to get around walkers. Why do people do that?? I would hate to be passed and elbowed for an entire race. It has to be bad for your mental health or are they oblivious? Rant mostly over. 

So between that and usual race start congestion routine the first mile was 7:25. I felt great though despite the short warm up and long cold wait. The pace felt super easy. 

The next couple of miles were mostly great with music and spectators and I was really enjoying the course itself. I was feeling the headwind but it was all still really good fun....these were 7.07 and 7:10. 

The halfway point came on the out and back part of the course along the Stillorgan dual carriageway. This was the only bit of the course I genuinely disliked as we got the full force of the wind at the same time as an incline all the way out. The great thing was I got to see the lead ladies coming back and had enough breath to give them a cheer and a "Well done!" 

As I turned and finally got the breeze at my back I looked down to see the last mile had been 7:17. Poo! Enough of that!

I picked the pace up to take advantage of the tailwind and some nice downhill to bring mile 5 in at 6:59 and my only sub 7 mile of the day. I was starting to tire now and I felt as if we turned back into a swirling headwind here. The slight hills were starting to feel like mini marathon mountains. 

Mile 6 was 7:01 and I was desperate for the line now. There was a bit of back and forth going on with a lady in a Drogheda AC singlet (I stared at this one for a while trying to read it as it has a bit of a Turkish sort of flavour to it! See below) and a lady in a purple fundraiser t shirt.

Courtesy of Drogheda District AC Facebook Page - There has to be a story to this one surely?

Anyway so they were really strong and I kept passing and being passed again just when I thought I was safe. Luckily I got a whiff of the finish line and my legs took over, sprinting past like a woman on a mission. I don't know where that comes from but its great when it happens. Doesn't feel like it has anything to do with me though! Finish time 44:42. Not a PB but I'm happy with that in those conditions. I'd love to run another race on that course on a different day. I really really enjoyed it!

Non running stuff

Not sure when I'll publish this. Obviously there is more to a life than running. Although not that much if you run a lot of miles! If you are exceptionally lucky like me then you might meet someone just as cracked as you who is equally as unable to sit down and just as likely to go climb up big hills for fun in the afternoon after a long run in the morning. Only if you are very lucky indeed though...