A prolonged pause

Are you there Blog? It's me, Lisa. I have just read back through my last few posts from 2015 and it really does feel a lifetime ago since I wrote here, and at the same time only just out of reach - much like my fitness and mental health!

I have decided to get back to writing this little log as I miss the act of writing for its' own sake, and I'm far too disorganised to start an actual journal. I want to come here to document my journey back to wellness. In many ways, this has already begun; the return to health, to job satisfaction, and to personal fulfillment. One baby step at a time. Not asking for much am I?

The last few years have certainly not been all bad, on the contrary, there has been so much to be grateful for. So very much of everything that my poor old battered brain went into overload like the robot on Lost in Space (the old one) and forgot how to chill the eff out.

Things to be grateful for:

• I am in good physical health, a bit anaemic, but who isn't?
• I have two kids in college doing things they enjoy.
• My partner is funny, kind, gentle, loyal and loving. Also handsome. 
• I have good friends, close-by who are busy but supportive. 
• The above-mentioned college education is not bankrupting me as yet.
• I have no major consumer debt. 
• My job is ok.
• I'm not that out of shape. 

This is a lot! I am so very lucky....but of course, I would like to be able to upgrade this slightly, just not at the expense of losing any of the above. How about all of the above but not anaemic and in good running shape? It's a deal! 

Back in the running groove

This week I certainly felt more like my usual self.  Well physically anyway.

My appetite is back and I'm back to relatively normal running mileage.  I'm not building my mileage up again yet, but maybe next week I'll bring it over thirty all going well.

This weeks workouts

• 4 miles Monday up at the curragh camp.
• A long walk on Tuesday with some core work, squats and yoga.
• 5 miles including 4x800m at the track on Wednesday.  
• Skipped Thursday as I slept badly the night before so was wrecked and went to bed early.
• 7 miles around town and briefly onto the curragh itself after work on Friday.  Gorgeous evening with the sun just beginning to set as I was turning back.  
• Sunday 8 miles pacing a friend at a 10k

Saturday I tried something new and volunteered at Naas Parkrun which was altogether very enjoyable.  I was as per usual extremely anxious beforehand but everyone was very friendly and I had nothing to worry about.  Except fucking up I suppose?  I did have to worry about that but I think it went ok. I suppose I will find out if they refuse to accept any more of my volunteering efforts.

In other news I badgered encouraged my eldest to participate and he finished in a very commendable 27 minutes and more importantly was absolutely delighted with himself.  He is a wonderful character but slow to make friends that he sees outside of school since we moved.  Naturally anything I can do to boost his confidence makes my day.

Today we got up bright and early and picked up a friend and colleague to enter her very first 10k!  Luckily she has a similar aged son to mine so they stayed behind to attempt to communicate via computer games as teenagers do.  Meanwhile myself and T registered, peed, warmed up, ran and cooled down to a total of 8 miles for the day.

So all in all a successful weekend of forcing both myself and eldest slightly out of our comfort zone and into the company of other people.  Not an altogether bad idea for either of us. Personally I do badly need to broaden my horizons here and have a good pool of contacts to ensure I continue to leave the house.  Why do I say that?  Well if I said the black dog of depression hadn't reared it's ugly head recently that would be a lie.  Staying very active and busy certainly helps although sometimes it's as if that's merely masking what is underneath.  Fake it 'til you make it?

Shoes! Really this time...

As you can see, my orange-laced Saucony Omni 11's had passed their sell by date.  I got these just before I started training for the marathon so they have got well over the recommended 500 miles on them.  I do rotate my shoes but my other 2 pairs are both over 2 years old.  Shame on me!!
These guys have served me well and I have had no significant injuries in them so far so I made the decision to buy the exact same shoe online.  This meant I got last years shoe at a big discount which is ace as I'm broke :)  I have supported running shops in the past and most probably will again in the future but right now due to the financial realities of being a working single parent of teens I am not in a position to spend 135 euro on runners I can get for 70 online.  I will continue to pay my taxes, give to charity etc. but I'm just not a complete mug!

Can't wait to give the new one's a run out but yesterday, in the rain, on the curragh was not the time.  In fact I didn't even wear the dirty ones so that's not even why they are filthy!  I always wear a less cushioned shoe on the grass as I don't feel I need it as much and when it's wet or uneven I'm much more concerned about grip and contact with the ground than cushioning.  I'm liable to topple over at the least provocation at the best of times so I need all the help I can get on uneven ground.

Life changer

So I broke up with my partner this weekend. This means big big changes including a move for me in the next few days......bummer :(
This bombshell necessitated several vodkas Friday night which made Saturday mornings 6 miler interesting but at least I was out there. I have a feeling that I'm going to have to run my way through this crisis.
Thank god for my kids, parents and good friends!