Recovery: Two weeks post discharge

I'm learning that a week can be a long time in recovery from a major health event. In my case anyway, this week has felt much more normal in that I've had a lot more energy and so have done more. I'm still sleeping quite a lot and feel that I need at least 8-9 hours per night at the moment, whereas I would have been fine with 6.5-7.5 previously. My days have been quite full, with a mixture of walking, self-enforced tasks around the house, and chasing up my outstanding medical tests. I finally had my CT abdomen/pelvis on Thursday morning (after three phone calls and a little cry on the phone to one of the admin staff) and will hopefully have the results of that on Monday. 

From a physical point of view, I'm relatively pain-free at rest at the moment unless I'm lying flat on my back, and have not had to take any painkillers for chest pain this week, but some for a persistent headache early in the week. In TMI news, I'm on day thirteen of my period at the moment so that is super fun - my poor underwear drawer doesn't know what hit it. A set of sheets has already ended up in the bin so this could get expensive if it happens every month. Oh well....blood thinner life! I will try to self-soothe by buying nice new undies and I have already replaced the sheets.

Walking is feeling easier and I have been able to up the pace a bit without too much chest pain. Inclines are certainly easier. I'm trying to walk 4-6 miles per day depending on what else I'm up to and I may try to up that next week to 5-7, although this may be weather dependent as it's beautiful walking weather at the moment. I'm telling myself that I'm waiting for a clear CT before attempting a run but, to be honest, I don't feel any urgency to run yet as I'm not sure I'm physically ready. Also, I'm scared, so there is that!  

PE recovery: 1st exercise target achieved!

It is with great pleasure that I can report that I managed to walk all four miles today. Woohoo! Whilst there is a tiny amount of mixed feelings about how mundane that target is for someone with my fitness history, I'm trying to put that to the back of my mind. I felt relatively well throughout with only some mild chest pain on inclines, and that stopped as soon as I took the effort back down to what it was on the flat. Another milestone was that I had energy when I got back. I called into the shop, tidied up a bit, and put together some lunch. A few days ago a three-mile walk was wiping me out and I would have had to go and lie down after. Progress!! 

I also feel I got a teeny tiny bit of colour back in my cheeks today, after being deathly pale up until now. See there under my left eye there is a little bit of pink? No?

Recovery one week post discharge

I seem to on a bit of a recovery plateau at the moment, but it is early days I suppose. My chest pain at rest and on exercise has neither improved or disimproved, but I have tapered off any pain medication drastically. Today I took 500mg of paracetamol but that was it. For a couple of reasons, I have the urge not to dull the remainder of the chest pain. I find it reassuring to note that it's still in the same places and that there is nothing new, and when I do try to exert myself a little, being aware of the pain forces me to back off a bit. I failed to achieve the four-mile walk target I set myself but that is mostly due to appalling weather yesterday combined with a trip to the airport with my parents and a GP visit.
My GP was fabulous and ordered the tests that I should probably have had as an inpatient, and also checked my moles. It was due to her that today I finally had a duplex venous scan of my lower limb to rule that out as the source of my clot. Negative, as expected with my lack of leg pain and swelling but at least that is one more thing off the list. I would have felt silly paying for a CT abdo/pelvis to then find out that I had a leg DVT that caused the whole thing. She has also ordered a routine cardiology consult due to an ongoing exercise-related tachycardia issue that it most probably unrelated. And, I also booked an appointment with a dentist for a check-up and oral cancer screen (to my shame, my first dental appointment since I moved here!)
In exercise news, I walked 2-3 miles today. I'm not sure of the exact total as I didn't do a route I'm familiar with and wearing my Fitbit at the moment would be too depressing - it kept buzzing at me in the hospital as I was basically sedentary for three days and that is very unusual for me. Tomorrow, to my knowledge I have no GP, hospital visits, etc (fingers crossed!) so I really hope to hit that four file target, even if it's in two chunks.

Recovery 1 week post diagnosis

It has now been a week since my diagnosis with bilateral pulmonary embolism and I've started to feel more normal. So naturally, I'm starting to think about running. Or rather not thinking about actually running, but thinking about whether I should be thinking about running. There doesn't seem to be a lot of guidance about when to resume normal activity but a lot of "listen to your body" type talk. Much as I'd like to think that I'm good at listening to my body please consider the evidence:

Exhibit A
I had chest pain, dizziness, and nausea two miles into a gentle jog the day my symptoms started that forced me to sit down on the edge of the path. I had run to the end of a dock from my car and then back past it in the opposite direction so I was now less than a mile from my car. Did I listen to my body and walk back, or did I decide to continue on to make it up to six miles? Guess! 

Exhibit B
When chest pain and shortness of breath woke me the following night I went to the local doctor-on-call service and explained my symptoms. When I was prescribed antibiotics and steroids for an infection I knew I didn't have, I still didn't listen to my body and go across the road to the ED and instead sat in traffic on the M50 for 1.5hrs each way and walked around a factory all day most probably with multiple blood clots in my lungs. 

Exhibit C
It took five more days of chest pain before I finally went to the ED and even then I felt like I was making it up and wasting someone's time. This is at the exact same time as knowing deep down that something was terribly wrong!  

All of the above I submit as evidence that although I once considered myself really good at listening to my body, this is no longer the case. So how then, do I begin to reclaim my fitness without overdoing it?

Two days ago I walked three miles slowly with my daughter. I felt fine during and after it, but then had a terrible night and was convinced I had a new clot.
Yesterday I did nothing, partially to do with having two visitors and partially to do with the fact that it rained cats and dogs all day.
Today I again walked three miles with my daughter. This time I took a break at the halfway point to catch my breath and really pulled back on the uphill when I started to feel some chest discomfort. Is this listening to my body? When does that turn into weakness?
As far as running is concerned, I don't think I will try until the chest pain at rest has resolved and until I get a CT scan of my pelvis and abdomen as I want to know that there isn't anything else lurking in there before I shake everything around too much.
Tomorrow? Four miles walking maybe?

Study and a rest

I awoke yesterday with the full intention of doing some form of recovery run at some point.  It was apparent by the time I walked down the hall to the kitchen that my body disagreed.  Maybe I had overcooked last week with all that mileage? (Relatively speaking....it's high for me!) What to do?  

I've been getting better recently at discerning when I need to listen to my body and rest, and when I'm just being a lazy old sow and get out the door.  My hip flexors were sore, especially on the right, my glutes ached and most worryingly I had no interest in running despite it being quite a nice day.  Also my stomach was upset and didn't want me to stray too far from my apartment.  So I didn't!

I foam rolled and tidied, and foam rolled and ate, and foam rolled and studied for an exam.  Then I ate some more.  Then I cooked for my daughter so she had something delicious waiting for her when she came back from doing exams.  Then I ate again!  I ate a ridiculous amount actually so that needs to stop.  Mostly salad and veggies with hummus (and quite a few spoons of peanut butter.  And a granola bar)  Maybe it's my body getting used to the higher mileage but it's the other direction I need to be heading on the scales so I need to cop on.  I easily have the highest BMI in my running club which is not something I'm about to go off the deep end about but I do know that the fastest way for me to improve my speed would be to lose a couple of stone.  With my history with food I'm unwilling to start counting calories or cutting out food groups but I do have to stop taking the mickey completely too!  Anyway back to work tomorrow so that kind of takes care of itself there as I can only eat what I bring with me.

Anyway I felt much better today and did a lovely easy 7 miler with not too many hills for a change.  Felt brilliant after it (but hungry again FFS!!)

Still miss this place :(

Back in action

I'm gradually easing myself back to reality after my amazing break.  I managed to drag my bloated and unfit body (plus my inflamed liver) around 8 miles yesterday and 4 today.  Yesterday was only alright and today was predictably a disaster but then it could have been worse and at least it's lovely and warm.  In fact I got sunburned on the roof of my apartment building today despite spending two weeks in Africa and catching only tan.  Something weird about Irish sunshine that I need to be filled in on?

Not back to work until tomorrow which has been lovely so I can spend some time with my kids and get some real life stuff done.  I'm trying to distract myself from the post holiday blues by planning lots of races, meet-ups with friends and activities with the kiddos once school is over.
Time is flying by so I might as well make the most of it and not hang about waiting for life to pass me by.

Despite being down about the long awaited holiday being over I'm so glad I went.  It was a great way for me to get back a bit more of myself after the knocks my confidence took in the last while.  Being around so many people all the time and not hating it was a revelation.

In addition there may or may not have been some eye candy around.  More than one in fact but one in particular that I took great pleasure in having an innocent flirtation with.  It may have been mostly one sided but who cares....I had fun and got to remember how nice it is to really fancy someone.  And someone who had my back at every turn is not the worst person to have a crush on.
I had honestly thought I might be going through an extremely early menopause as I've had no interest in looking at a guy ever since my break-up.  Well I did some looking this holiday!  I honestly think I checked out his arms and the way his hair curls on the back of his neck for a solid four of the five hour drive back to Harare from Chirundu.  Perhaps now my hormones have been reactivated I'll be more interested in going out more now and not come home at 10:30 like recently.

Back to the track tomorrow night which should be interesting.  I think a full week back should see me feeling back to normal.  Here's hoping anyway!

Recovery run? Ha! Who needs 'em!

Me.  I need them!  Could have really done with an easy run on Monday after bargaining like mad with my body the day before to force it over the finish line.  I sort of feel like I shortchanged it with the last few days shenanigans.

I should have known when I heard a group from the club were meeting to run the new course of the planned Carers 10k on Monday evening that they weren't going to run it at 10min/mile pace.  Not going to happen!

I think a lot of the faster runners probably ran it in about 47 minutes while chatting and talking throughout. Meanwhile myself and T are at a similar level (depending on the day!) and dragged each other through for a 51 minute hilly 10k which I'm pretty sure is a couple of minutes under what my 10k PB was last year.  My legs feeling very heavy by the end.

Well at least tomorrow is a rest day I said to myself on Monday evening........

But then I woke up early and the sun was shining and the forecast was good for the rest of the day.  Plans to do a spring clean of the apartment were shelved and I decided to take advantage of the glorious weather and the kiddos Easter break.
Before they knew they were awake I had them in the car and off to Glendalough for a lovely three hour plus ramble.  Lets just say it was a bit hilly.

My eldest came home and proceeded to sleep for fourteen hours so it may have been a bit more physically arduous than I had planned for a rest day!

I sort of knew I had taken the piss out of my poor old legs by yesterday evening and tried to head the muscle aches off at the pass with lots of foam rolling and yoga.  This was moderately successful in that I could walk today.
Strictly speaking I should be at the track by now but I've taken an executive decision to skip this one.  In all fairness if I went tonight I would deserve to be out for a month injured!

A good weeks running

I'm definitely feeling back in the swing of things here.  While last week was good in that I was consistently running I was also taking multiple naps per day (when schedule allowed) and was generally wiped by days end.  This week I've had energy to burn, which is great as I feel like that sort of gives me the green light to up my mileage a bit.  Doesn't it?

Also I've felt this week has had more quality miles as well as just quantity.

• Monday: Tempo run.  8 miles with 5 at threshold pace.  Was hoping that would be about 8:15 but ended up being neared to 8:30.  I thought straight uphill and into a headwind would be fine.  What? Anyway I worked my ass off for every single one of those miles so I don't care what the garmin says. This was followed by a steak dinner with my visiting parents and then a 2.5 mile walk to get rid of the meat sweats.
• Tuesday: Rest. Or two walks (am and pm) plus some strength work.  It was sunny....definitely a two walk day.
• Wednesday: Pyramid interval session at the track.  Fun!  No really....I think I'm starting to like the track. 
• Thursday: 6 miles with the club.  9 minute miles so faster than I would like for a recovery run but comfortable enough.  Will make up for it with extra slow long run miles. 

Pretty good so far!  

The plan is something short tomorrow 5-7 depending on weather and then long Saturday.  Hoping for 12 miles.  I have visitors this weekend so taking Sunday as a rest day which is good as I'm over-scheduled as hell the following weekend....but in a good way.  Time with new friends, time with my kids and a road race with the club.  Eek!

Back in the running groove

This week I certainly felt more like my usual self.  Well physically anyway.

My appetite is back and I'm back to relatively normal running mileage.  I'm not building my mileage up again yet, but maybe next week I'll bring it over thirty all going well.

This weeks workouts

• 4 miles Monday up at the curragh camp.
• A long walk on Tuesday with some core work, squats and yoga.
• 5 miles including 4x800m at the track on Wednesday.  
• Skipped Thursday as I slept badly the night before so was wrecked and went to bed early.
• 7 miles around town and briefly onto the curragh itself after work on Friday.  Gorgeous evening with the sun just beginning to set as I was turning back.  
• Sunday 8 miles pacing a friend at a 10k

Saturday I tried something new and volunteered at Naas Parkrun which was altogether very enjoyable.  I was as per usual extremely anxious beforehand but everyone was very friendly and I had nothing to worry about.  Except fucking up I suppose?  I did have to worry about that but I think it went ok. I suppose I will find out if they refuse to accept any more of my volunteering efforts.

In other news I badgered encouraged my eldest to participate and he finished in a very commendable 27 minutes and more importantly was absolutely delighted with himself.  He is a wonderful character but slow to make friends that he sees outside of school since we moved.  Naturally anything I can do to boost his confidence makes my day.

Today we got up bright and early and picked up a friend and colleague to enter her very first 10k!  Luckily she has a similar aged son to mine so they stayed behind to attempt to communicate via computer games as teenagers do.  Meanwhile myself and T registered, peed, warmed up, ran and cooled down to a total of 8 miles for the day.

So all in all a successful weekend of forcing both myself and eldest slightly out of our comfort zone and into the company of other people.  Not an altogether bad idea for either of us. Personally I do badly need to broaden my horizons here and have a good pool of contacts to ensure I continue to leave the house.  Why do I say that?  Well if I said the black dog of depression hadn't reared it's ugly head recently that would be a lie.  Staying very active and busy certainly helps although sometimes it's as if that's merely masking what is underneath.  Fake it 'til you make it?

On being right, whether by accident or design.

Oh glory glory glory be! How lovely it is to be right!  Being the grandchild of a wonderful but notoriously contrary matriarch I really don't like being told what to do.  Furthermore being told what to do by a man (even if it's my coach) grinds my gears just a tad.  (Remind me again...Why am I single?)

Being told to rest til Monday didn't sit too well with me to put it mildly.  So what did I do instead?
Well I went for a 3 hour hike in the Wicklow mountains yesterday and then ran 10.5 glorious miles today. Huzzah!

Anyway I feel great now so who cares which of us was right (Me! Me me me! I care!)  
Yes I am 9 years old.

In fairness to the coach I was in such a state Thursday he was absolutely right to recommend rest.  And in my defense, if the hike yesterday had gone badly or I'd felt drained afterwards then I wouldn't have considered going out today.  Despite my underlying misgivings I do absorb information from those who know more than me. Anyone who thinks they always know best and has nothing to learn from others is omitting a lot from the learning process.

The hike was glorious though and I had so much energy when I came back I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom.  After a lovely relaxing evening and a great nights sleep I woke up to blue skies and a perfect view of the slightly snow dusted mountains in the distance.  Who wouldn't be inspired to get outside by that?  And in all fairness I really didn't have anything else to do so off I set giving myself full permission to run 10min/miles and to turn back at any point if I felt unwell.
I shouldn't have worried.  My legs were slightly heavy near the end but apart from that I ran consistant 9-9:30min/miles for the entire thing.  No unscheduled stops (except to fiddle with headphones and my visor) and no stomach issues.  No breathlessness and no nausea.

So hopefully this chapter has come to a close I can work towards getting back to where I was before and then onwards and upwards.

When hurts so good turns to sucks so bad

I'm officially going through a bad patch with running.  At least I hope it's a bad patch and not some awful new normal.  

As planned I headed up to the curragh camp Thursday night for a training run with the club.  Planned on being really conservative and doing about 4 miles total.  Of course secretly I was hoping I'd warm up, jog the first lap and feel so fantastic that I would end up only doing the 4 miles but know that I could have done more if I wanted.  Spoiler alert....That didn't happen!

What really happened is this.  I turned up, ran about 1.5 miles at what should have been an easy pace but felt ridiculously hard.  And then I died.  

Well not quite but I felt like I did.  Double vision, heart-rate through the roof, breathing uncontrolled, legs of lead.  I did a pathetic sobby little jog back the next mile to the car by which point I had calmed down a bit. At least I wasn't doing the "Woe is me! My running is broken!" wail by the time the coach spotted me so at I didn't look like as big of an eejit.  Anyway I was told to go home and not come back til Monday and see how I get on then.  Which is probably sensible advice so I'll ignore it and give it another go by myself on Sunday.  

Of course!

Well what exactly did I expect from Sunday?  A triumphant return to running in front of the local crowd?  Maybe.
A new PB?  Hopefully.
A respectable finish time?  At worst!

How about my very first DNF?  Yup!  I had to drop out after three horrible kilometers and get a lift back with one of the guys at the nearest water station.  Morto!

The bit of the race I did  I can only describe as like trying to run wearing glasses that are several notches away from your prescription on tiny stilts elevated off the ground.  Not my finest moment.

Anyway I think I might have learned my lesson.  My priority this week has been to regain some kind of appetite and get through my workday and daily chores without feeling like I've been run over by a truck.

Once I feel like I've conquered that I'll get back to running.  Hopefully that will begin tomorrow as it's Thursday and that's my favourite night to run easy and catch up with other club members.  I have been trying to do seven miles on a Monday and Thursday night up until this but I think I'll take that back to about three or four tomorrow if I end up going.  Same Friday if I feel up to it and then Saturday is hill walking in Glendalough with some girls from work.  Looking forward to that one! Then if all is well I'll do something a bit longer on Sunday.  Here's hoping!